Posts from — April 2008

Dear Potential Reader:

Please be advised that this site is still under construction. Your patience is appreciated.

Thank you,

JennyJuice

Like it or not, we all have a conscience. Whether or not we listen to our consciences and the consequences thereof are subject for another blog entirely so we’ll just stick to the basics. He has a conscience; she has a conscience; you have a conscience and believe it or not, so do I.

My conscience is a fierce and loyal, little redhead named Stephie.  She is a kind and wise soul who practices what she preaches and ‘does unto others’ despite the bad karma of which she is in constant, undeserved supply. When a moral dilemma is at hand I often find myself thinking, what would Stephie do?

Getting to the point, dear reader, of all the advice and tips for a happier spirit I’ve squandered from my Stephie, the following is one of my favourites:

Everyday you must do three things for yourself, no matter how small – one for your mind, one for your body and one for your soul.

It’s simple and truly beneficial. I’ve provided a few examples for your reference. Please be advised that JennyJuice.com will not be liable for any damages incurred, physically or mentally, while performing these activities.

DAY I
Mind:     Read a chapter of your favourite novel.
Body:    Dance like nobody’s watching for at least one entire song.
Soul:     Visit your favourite pal and talk about makeup, beer or whatever suits your fancy.

DAY 2
Mind:     Play a word game or complete a crossword.
Body:     Do a few push-ups during spare moments throughout the day.
Soul:     Smile and/or say something kind to every person you see.

DAY 3
Mind:     Figure out how to build a f@!%ing website.
Body:    Walk your beloved horse-dog until you no longer care about the f@!%ing website.
Soul:     Spend some time with good ol’ Jose Cuervo. What website?
(Just kidding. Not really. Seriously, I am. Maybe.)

Looking for a little porn? Crime? Scandal? General negativity, perhaps? If you answered ‘yes’ or ‘maybe’ to any of the above (or added an unscrupulous suggestion of your own) then move along, please. That’s not my juice.

If you’re looking for an easily ingestible dose of fun that may occasionally be sprinkled with a little ‘weird’ or ‘crazy’, however, then come on in and make yourself comfortable! You need some JennyJuice.

Ladies:

Have you ever experienced or been the girlfriend that’s forever dyeing her hair different colours? Now imagine said hair-colour-a-holic one day damages her hair so irreparably that she has to shave it all off.

What was she thinking? What got into her? Chances are she got a dose of a little something I like to call JennyJuice.

Gentlemen:

Have you ever experienced or been the manfriend that always says the wrong thing to women? Now imagine said wannabe-manwhore attempts to entice a victim with “Hey! Wanna get naked and have dirty sex?”. (In this scenario we’ll assume he gets an immediate bitch-slap).

So what was he thinking? What got into him? Might’ve been the JennyJuice.

That’s my juice. I did not create it but I certainly made it an art form. It’s a little off and doesn’t always fit in but it’s usually good for a laugh. Who really can’t do without an extra laugh?

So help yourself to some JennyJuice. Take it with you (it won’t spill in your car), share it with your friends and come back for another dose!